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There really is no explanation why people ghost, although I think most people either a) don’t care very much b) have changed their mind and don’t want to/don’t know how to end it or c) find it the easy way out of something they’re not ready to define (although a friend of mine was ghosted after dating someone for a year. It comes from a place of fear, as in, they’re scared of having to share their feelings and *gasp* put themselves out there for a potentially awkward text conversation that really only has to take up five minutes of their life.

And then, the day before, I texted him to confirm what time we were meeting. That seemed a bit strange, but I tried not to let it bother me until the next day. It essentially means to just disappear on someone, leaving them hanging. *** The second time I was ghosted, I didn’t understand why the guy ended up being such an asshole. A few days later I wrote him a text saying I had expected more of him, and that I wished he hadn’t been such a coward.

By lunchtime – I would assume we were meeting only a few hours later – I texted again. This can occur in many ways – the good old-fashioned “he stood me up” bit – but nowadays tends to occur when someone simply cuts communication altogether. And it happens a hell of a lot more frequently than I first realised. I realised how prevalent ghosting had become when I told my friend about a guy who dumped me over a drink last year, and her first words were, “Aw, he actually broke up with you in person? I met Mark in a crowded bar over thumping dance music and too many pints. I mean, at least have the guts to send a quick text saying it’s over… *** And that’s what gets me the most about ghosting.

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I didn’t want to kiss him, and the conversation felt stilted). I really liked hanging out with you but I don’t see a future for us. Do you reveal your anger or your sadness, either way exposing that you did indeed care for him or her?

We discussed a potential third date – bowling – but a few days later I knew I had to call it off. I hope you understand.” Listen – that is not a fun text to write nor a fun text to receive. If you think it will make you feel better, or if you like having closure, I say go for it, because at this point you have nothing to lose…I thought things were going really well; he even called me out of the blue once when he was feeling stressed, asking to meet up “because I always made things better.” It felt like we were on track to something great. not to mention you can easily see if someone has been active on social media).We were supposed to meet up on a Sunday night at 8pm in my local pub. Ghosting is such a cowardly act, and not only that, it’s .I had even run into him the day before – we live in the same neighbourhood – and he had introduced me to his friends and said he was excited to see me. If you spend quality time with someone, or make plans with someone, why not have the decency to text a few lines to say if it’s not working out?I texted him on Sunday afternoon to confirm I’d be at the pub at 8, but he didn’t respond. Nearly every unattached friend I have – male or female – has told me that they’ve been ghosted at least once.“Weird,” I thought, but I obviously went to the pub anyway. And while it doesn’t get any easier to take, I have realised over the years that it can actually be a really good thing.

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