Dating within the aa program dalhousie dating society
One of our major goals to achieve long term sobriety is emotional stability, If you are like me and most of us at 2 mos, you haven't worked the steps and have never really focused on the problem which is "us".
Early on we have very little to offer another person until we can work on our defects and clear away wreckage of the past, and learn to love ourselves first.
I sounds like God has given you a perfect opportunity to be alone so you can focus on the program making some true friends, learning to be unselfish and become part of a group. Yes I also didn;t date, I married every girl I was ever with, except the ones I would wake up with "literally out of state!!
New ppl are vulnerable and when they take the focus off their sobriety, and put more effort into pursuing the opposite sex there is usually trouble.
I really believe too that its really none of my business if ppl in the fellowship want to date each other. GG, There are so many reasons why it's suggested to take a year off from relationships to get sober.
Then I had another string of false starts and now I just don't care that much.
I might be dating someone nice now but more remains to be seen.
It took me well over a year for me to really start to see things with a clearer head.
I was also reminded that most who come into AA don't make it a year. first off, I know the AA recommendation about not dating during your first year of sobriety. :) My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago (completely amicable, he moved to Chicago to start grad school and the distance just became unsustainable, I live in San Francisco). He's great, seems very stable and self-aware, he doesn't drink (not in the program but just chooses not to).My ex has been great and supportive, he was also in the program and recently shared with me some of the things that went wrong in the disastrous relationship he got into at 3 months sober -- being overly vulnerable, got attached too quickly, and lost focus on himself and his recovery, as a way of helping me know what pitfalls to look out for.Anyway, I'm just wondering if y'all have other advice you would be willing to share regarding dating in early sobriety. I came from, born and raised in the diseaseand was not only predisposed to the chemical and all of the stuff that brings butalso the thoughts, feeling and behaviors that make up an alcoholic's character.I've been going to AA for about 6 months and have 2 months of sobriety. I was told that unless I got a secure hold on who and what I was and made somemajor amends my ongoing relationships would end up the same way.Alcoholics are largely codependent and spend way too much time thinking about other people, and with someone in there life, that they are projecting on heavily, how the **** are they going to take time out and contemplate self help/improvement?Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating