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Half of my mother’s four sisters are married to white men.My cousins can be split into two groups: Ones who grew up with weaves and skin lighteners and ones who needed sunscreen and haircuts.I wondered how men with such delicate bodies seemed to be the only ones who could endure the storm. We bought crop tops, tight jeans, and earrings so big that they touched our shoulders.
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The only girl in my group of black girlfriends who had a boyfriend was dating a white boy who was white enough to have a family that hated black people. We would sit squished in a row behind them with all of our smirks perfectly even as they drove us home.
The year before I graduated college, black boys started dying on TV: Trayvon Martin, then Eric Garner, then Michael Brown, then Tamir Rice.
There was something about watching a black boy murdered from the comfort of my home that made me want to go out and love a black man as hard as I could, as though somehow it could resurrect the child in him.
I started dating my first official black boyfriend, a neuroscientist, shortly after.
But when you start saying things as a black man such as, "I DON'T date black women, I don't find them attractive." I think we have an issue.
Even Psychology Today wrote an article that spoke about black women being unattractive (it is now taken down). by Courtney Carter for The Huffington Post "…and when he get on he'll leave your ass for a white girl." Let me start by saying this, I know writing this article was going to cause quite a bit of controversy. I think I wouldn't really care if OTHER races felt this way, but the fact that my own men do, made me consider turning my backs on them multiple times.So let's get this out of the way: I am intelligent, not what society deems "ghetto" and from what I am told and from where I work in the television business, I am attractive. Let's start below: Black men don't like black women. My boyfriend and I were having a conversation (he is Black and Puerto Rican) about black men vs black women.Personally, you'd get more points from me for if you can quote James Baldwin or if you're knowledgeable about or genuinely interested in learning about my culture beyond popular trends and stereotypes. Johnson wrote for Everyday Feminism: part of Black culture, that has to include learning about the history of what you’re appreciating and about the struggles and achievements of the people you’re borrowing from.Then you’ll be the kind of ally who’s informed enough to honor our culture in a way that supports us — instead of just taking what you like and hurting our community.Since many young people lack experience dating a person from another racial group, that provides fertile ground for stereotypes to persist.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating