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In his book, Harris also urges Christian singles to commit to "purposeful singleness," as romantic relationships should exist only as a means to preparing for marriage.

"I was young, I was religiously zealous, I was certain, and I was restlessly ambitious," Harris recalled.

He ends it better than some of the other books I’ve reviewed– there’s an actual summation and conclusion at the end of it, and he wraps it up in a way that makes it feel finished.

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Earlier, Harris told NPR that while the Bible gives "certain commandments and guidance" relating to sexuality and relationships, Christians often take truths from God's word and add extra human regulation onto them, the pastor contended.

"For example, there are clear things in statements in Scripture about our sexuality being expressed within the covenant of marriage.

(187) We need new attitudes– values that are shaped by Scripture and a radically God-centered view of romance.

(188) I think these seasons can help us develop godly romantic relationships.

"I didn't leave room for the idea that dating could be a healthy way of learning what you're looking for in a long-term relationship, that it could be a part of growing personally," he said.

"I gave the impression that there was one formula that you could follow, and if you followed that, you'd be happily married, God would bless you, and you'd have a great sex life and marriage." He added, "Obviously, the real world doesn't work that way." However, the 42-year-old pastor and author said what he regrets most is the fact that he transferred the fear inside of him to his writing. "Fear of messing up, fear of getting your heart broken, fear of hurting somebody else, fear of sex." Harris, who went on to serve as senior pastor of Covenant Life Church for several years, said he finally understood the problems in his book after he stopped being the pastor of a large church and went to graduate school.

One of the interesting things that jumped out to me is that he finishes it like he opens it: with the assertion that he’s not I hope to give a broad outline of how a God-honoring relationship can unfold …

just as a one-of-a-kind snowflake can only form at a specific temperature and precipitation, a God-honoring romance can only form when we follow godly patterns and principles.

"Youth, zeal, certainty, ambition ..have the tendency to set the world on fire.

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