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Whether because we didn't have much in common or we weren't willing to put in much effort, my conversations rarely left the texting stage.When they did, second dates were rare and thirds were almost unheard of.It's actually ended up lasting a year because after seven months, I met someone—and it was IRL.

It's like gambling: The hope of winning is so strong and motivating, you don't even realize you're losing most of the time.4.

Those swipes can seriously affect your self-esteem With fewer avenues to receive validation about my attractiveness, I sincerely began to believe my looks had declined (at the tender age of 25, I know).

During the times I slipped on my hiatus and went on OKCupid, I realized I felt a sense of dread as the homepage loaded because I associated the site with disappointment and rejection.

I hadn't even noticed these feelings before because they were overridden by the hope that I'd get that rare good message.

Looking for love can backfire When I met my partner, I was in the opposite mindset from when I was online dating.

I was just looking for fun and maybe a hookup, not a relationship.

But people had relationships before dating apps existed and—surprise! It took a little while, but when I was putting less energy into scoping out prospects on dating apps, I had more time for parties, spontaneous encounters, and other ways to meet people.

I ended up meeting my partner at a nightclub while on vacation in Ibiza with a girlfriend.

And that's probably why I met the right person shortly thereafter.

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